Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The Love/Hate Affair is Over



It had occurred to me to bash iPods here before. But as a proud and adoring owner of an iPod myself, I thought it might be a bit hypocritical to use this forum to savage all iProducts and all iConsumers. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even mind being hypocritical, as long as I didn't get found out. Most certainly someone who knows me personally--that is, anyone who actually reads this b**g--would've thought to mention in the comments section that I was a dirty, two-faced liar and iPod owner.

But hah! My iPod broke the other day--from a measly 8 inch fall to the floor--so I can make fun of you all I want. iPods suck. (I miss you iPod). First of all, they are way too expensive. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) Second of all, they are ubiquitous in NYC. Which used to be annoying in a fun way, in that you could waste breath stopping to think or comment about their ubiquity. As in: "Look at how 60% of the people on this subway car are idiot idrones." But now the whole phenomenon has passed into the realm of the unworthy of mention. And that's just weird. We have this very specific--and expensive--consumer choice in plain sight all day long, broadcast directly from 1 in 3--the richer or more spoiled 1 in 3--of every individual we pass each day. It's gone from amusing dimestore sociology fodder to the stuff of dystopian nightmare. Everybody does it but NO ONE dares comment about it.

Plus, that ad campaign is nightmarish. Plus, even if I hadn't dropped it, the--essentially irreplaceable--battery would've died out of natural causes in a few months. Plus they're going to keep building better ones each consumer cycle, to make all of us who bought the early model--"What? You only have 40 MBs?"--feel stupid for not having waited. Plus as you can see even Celine fucking Dion has one now. Plus...

Fuck it. I'm going to the iPod store to see if they can fix this. I love you, Baby!

7 Comments:

Blogger TinyRabbit said...

I'll see you on the nightmarish ad campaign and raise you one--I despise their print ad inserts in magazines. Anyone else see those useless things? On nasty thick paper stock so the fool magazine helplessly flops open to it everytime and you loose whatever place you had. And what is the point of em, either? With those odd paper iPod tabs to pull off? As in, "Look how small they are!"? Why?? Why??? Curse you, 'Pod People!! Perhaps I'm just angry because the half-busted Discman I inherited from a nutty 14-year-old now looks outrageously big and clunky in my grip next to all those sleek podlings. On the upside, my even-more-favorite Walkman with its slightly-more-like-an-iPod compact shape seems somehow more suitable and innocuous to carry (albeit it in a clunky, admittedly Luddite way). Next stop along the musical regression: My own portable band of roving minstrels.

July 21, 2004 at 8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dropped mine too. and it broke. i wasn't that upset. i could have predicted something of that nature from the moment i bought it. so many things seem filled with the intent of being lost etc etc etc. why has this become my personal mantra? whatever. bennett.

July 22, 2004 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Hurricane James said...

Bennett, you are the Elizabeth Bishop of ipods.

July 22, 2004 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Hurricane James said...

Is that Anne Robinson?

July 23, 2004 at 12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dropped my ipod and it broke. I sent it to apple and they sent me a new one. Pretty much no questions asked.

August 10, 2004 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger Omar said...

ur post is really interesting,

I can't really understand what's the problem with iPod!!! It seems like they are creating products just to stack them in their multi-billioned portfolio. In about 18 months, the battery will die. Don't they realize that??? I mean, its really funny how I sometimes think of grabbing Steve Jobs from his shoulders, shake him, say "Wake Up! The Batteries DIE!"

God! And the replacement is more than $200 I think.

I obtained a shuffle, which I found more reliable. So what no display? this is the nice part! It would read ur mind sometimes.

I still use my Sony Walkman, and there's something (I hope he doesn't know) that its BIG, compared to the tiny new ones. But I'll stay a CD-Loyal person. Hehehe

You should watch this videos:
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2643275?refsite=7063&ns=1

http://www.kissmac.com/shop/mart5/bbs/table/ip_story/upload/ipod.wmv

October 19, 2005 at 7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love

February 11, 2007 at 2:27 AM  

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