Thursday, May 27, 2004

Introductions



Is there anything duller or more narcissistic than bothering to sit down and write out the things that bug or bother you; to list your peeves and your grievances; to, instead of shrugging off that vague insult or overstressed demand at work, the unforgivably depressing atmosphere in the place you get your coffee, the annoying thing your girlfriend or boyfriend did last night in bed; to actually bother to catalogue all of the slights and disappointments, all of the many new and delightful ways that life has discovered, despite all reasonable expectations, to keep getting suckier and suckier?

Sure there is! You can post them on the internet! You can pretend, even if just for a second, even if the only person you succeed in fooling is you, that others might actually enjoy hearing about it.

So that's what I'm embarking on here: It is my mission to create the dankest, dingiest, dourest, whiningest and whingeiest space currently on the Web. Brace yourself for heaping daily doses of adolescent self-pity, solipsistic smugness, and self-indulgent self-hatred! Topped, of course, with the trademark heavy-handed, tone-deaf, humorless bile you will no doubt come to expect from yours truly.

And if, by chance, someone actually manages to stumble across this meager little hut I call a home...that's fine, that's good...but don't come back! Repeat visitors will not be tolerated. I want an absolute minimum of "unique visitors," "page views", "hits" or whatever-else-the-fuck. Remember: I will settle for nothing less than abject failure.

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